Eclipse
by 2hello2
Summary: Victoria is still a threat. Jacob and Edward still hate eachother. Bella wants Jacob back as her best friend while staying with Edward and dodging Victoria. Will Bella marry Edward? Basically this is just what I think should happen after New Moon. Enjoy!
1. Preface

Author's Note: This is just the beggining. Enjoy reading! Please review.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twighlight, New Moon, or Eclipse. Nor do I own the characters so please don't make me tell you this again.

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PREFACE

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Again and again this keeps happening to me. It's the terrible trend of my life. I'm lying bleeding, broken on the floor and all I can hope for is that my knight in shining armor will save me again. The difference this time is that no matter how I look at it this time no one is coming to help, this time my angel will not rescue me, this time I will die and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

As strange as it may be, right now at this moment I feel no pain, except for in my heart, where I long for my angel and for my knight. Just to see there faces once more, before my time runs out, would be all I ever wanted.

This to me seems so much more real than any other time I've almost died. Perhaps it's because the plan was perfect and unstoppable.

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Author's Note: This is a short chapter because it is the Preface. I don't want to give too much away you know. 


	2. Werewolves

Author's Note: Yay for chapters!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Good day!

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**Werewolves**

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I lay in my bed pretending to sleep as I waited for Charlie to check on me as he always did. Tonight however I was especially anxious. Tonight after Charlie checked on me Edward would sneak in. He did this every night and yet I was still terribly anxious for this night in particular. Tonight I had made my decision.

Quite a while ago after Edward had come back from his suicide trip to Italy with me in his arms, he refused point blank to change me. I had argued and made a meeting with his family. Most of the Cullens wanted me to join their family. We decided to wait until I graduated, but inside I wanted it to be sooner and done by Edward.

When Edward took me home I told him. After much arguing he agreed to a deal. If I married him, he would do it.

Renae didn't like young marriages which was the excuse she told Edward. However, the truth was that marrying Edward felt too much like betraying Jacob.

_Jacob._ I thought. He would be angry. The last image of his face had been the worst thing I had ever seen. It was a horrible look. Every time I ever thought of him, even when trying to remember the way he looked when he was happy the image of his face was the terrible grimace he had the last time I saw him.

Edward didn't like Jacob much. He wouldn't let me see him at all. He thought that Jacob might hurt me. I think that I must have hurt him more than he would ever dream of hurting me. _I need to see him._ I need to talk to him now, before Edward comes and I tell him…

I stopped pretending to be asleep at that moment. I turned on my light and rolled out of bed. He would probably just not talk to me again, or Billy would pick up and ask me to stop hanging out with those 'Dangerous evil bloodsuckers' I like so much.

I didn't care. I wanted to talk to Jacob. Even more than that though, I wanted to see him. I put down the phone I had just picked up and ran downstairs.

"Bella, what the…"

"No time Charlie, but I need to see Jacob right now!"

"Now wait just one minute young lady!"

"Dad I'm 18 and will be out of this house soon anyway."

"BELLA…"

"Bye dad, be back soon." I paused and decided to add, "I promise." I rushed to grab my keys and open the door. Immediately I got in my truck and started to back up.

Something tapped on my window startling me. It was only Edward.

"What are you doing Bella?" He asked angrily.

"I'm going to see Jacob."

"What? You know it's dangerous. I don't think I can let you go."

"Edward, you're being extremely overprotective. I won't let you stop me."

"Bella." He fumed.

"Edward I know you don't like him much but I don't want to lose him as a friend."

"You want that filthy mangy wolf to be your friend?"

"Yes I do."

"He's dangerous and young. He doesn't have enough self control."

"So are you saying that if he was older you'd let me talk to him."

"No I'm saying I don't want you hurt or dead because I can't live without you."

"It's rather sweet that you're so over protective but I have to do this, because I can't be stuck remembering the last look on his face. It hurt me so much to know how I hurt him because it reminded me of how you hurt me." At this he looked pained and hurt and worried at the same time.

He swiftly moved away from the car and said, "I really hope you don't die Bella." That hurt a lot. Jacob had said those same words to me exactly when I chose Alice over him.

"I have to do this Edward."

"I understand and I'll let you. But Bella?"

"Yes."

"Be safe and don't anger him **too much** okay."

"Okay." I liked the emphasis he put on too much.

"Come back soon."

"As soon as I can."

"Bye."

"Bye." He disappeared in the shadows as swiftly as if he'd never been standing next to me in the first place.

I sighed. I knew Jacob wouldn't hurt me. It still felt wrong to go to La Push though. It felt as though I was betraying Edward even though he said I could go.

Edward couldn't go onto the reservoir. Along time ago the werewolves and the Cullens had made a treaty. The Cullens couldn't go on the werewolves land and the werewolves couldn't go onto the Cullens land while they were around.

Edward just can't protect me over there. That's why he doesn't want me to go to La Push.

I revved up the over loud engine of my truck and backed out of the driveway. I hardly ever drove at night. What with my extraordinary number of accidents I managed to have on my two feet, and with Charlie grounding me all the time I just figured that it was probably best not to drive at the most dangerous time of all.

_Charlie, _I thought, _I'll be grounded again for sure._ At least there are only a few months before graduation. Soon I'll be able to move out.

I didn't want to move out until then because all Charlie can cook is eggs. I don't really think that's a good meal for anyone.

I decided to drive slowly. That way I'd be less likely to drive off the road or something. I wasn't really worried about any car hitting me. There car would have been the one ruined not mine. My truck would probably just need a new paint job. _And Edward wanted to buy me a new car._ _I would probably just need another new one by the end of the week._

My only worry was that Victoria was still out there. It would be a good thing if I got both the werewolves and the vampires to like me again. Then I'd almost be safe anywhere I went. At least then I'd be safe from Victoria. I doubt I'll ever be safe from the many accidents I cause myself.

_I do hope that Victoria doesn't try to kill me tonight, which would really suck because it's such a pretty night out. _It was. The moon was bright in the sky. I figure it was probably almost a full moon.

The Drive took hours because I was driving so slowly. When I finally got to Jacobs house the sun was starting to creep up over the horizon. The sky was a light blue with a faint pink.

In Washington it was hardly ever this beautiful outside. It was almost always raining and the sun was almost never out. It was too green. Edward had always helped me cope with it, and Jacob had taken over when Edward left. Even he who had lived for centuries wasn't smart enough to keep me out of harms way.

I don't know how I had ended up so lucky. Sure there was no Jacob anymore, but Edward was so perfect. He was amazingly beautiful, powerful, and clever. He was fast and smooth. Even though he was cold, he was comfortable. I new that I should never be comfortable in his presence, that I should never be calm and happy around him, but I couldn't help it. He was an angel, my angel.

And Jacob, Jacob was kind. He was also strong and fast. He was tall and funny. He was my best friend and my safe haven. He alone had made me be back to almost normal when Edward left. He was more than Paris, but was less than Romeo.

I couldn't stand living without Edward until he came along. He cared a little to much though. I couldn't return the way he felt about me. I loved him, but as a friend, a brother. My love for Edward was stronger and unbreakable. I could hardly live without Edward, but it was hard to live without Jacob too.

When I turned off the engine I sat there for a moment. Perhaps I should go back to Edward and just forget about Jake. I could be ok without him. It just felt as though life wasn't the same anymore. I couldn't bring life back to the way it was before Edward left.

Funnily enough, it was almost Edward's fault that I was here. If he hadn't have left I would never have needed Jacob to help me. I wouldn't be coming here to talk to him.

I sighed and opened the door. I couldn't live without Jake any longer. He could shun me, hate me, or love me, but I couldn't live without him. I refuse to live without my best friend, no matter how much he despises me!

I stepped out into the calm air. There was no wind. _Such unusual weather for Forks _I thought.

I closed the door of my truck and walked up to the house.

Before I even got to the door to knock I heard someone call my name. I turned around and saw Sam staring at me.

"Hi Sam." I said cheerily.

"Hi Bella. Why did you come?"

"I wanted to talk to Jake. He hasn't been talking to me when I call. Billy says he doesn't want to see me."

"Billy's right Bella. He doesn't want to talk to you or see you."

"I know that. I want to see him though."

"I know you do, but it's probably best that you stay away from him. Every time any of us mention you or the bloodsuckers he goes into a rampage. It's taking almost all of our strength to keep him from breaking the contract."

"I was horrible to him I know and I'm sorry. That's why I want to see him, to tell him I'm sorry."

"I don't think it will really make a difference to him unless you've ditched the bloodsucker."

"I haven't, but I still want to try."

"Well we've warned you, but he's not at his home right now."

"Where is he?"

"He's at my home."

"Oh, ok, will you take me there?"

"I will, but be careful even with us there protecting you, you might still get hurt."

"I'll keep that in mind."

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Author's Note: Please Review 


	3. Jacob

**Author's Note**: This one took a while. I just had trouble thinking it through. I think you should know that the next chapter might be quite a while. Also I am not sure if I need someone to beta or not. I know someone who would do it, but I don't know if I need to or not.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters.

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**JACOB**

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I jumped into the passenger side of my truck. Sam told me to wait a second and he went running into the forest. A minute later he was back running towards my truck.

"I just went to tell the others that you'd be coming. We need a full pack to keep Jacob at bay sometimes."

"Is he really that strong?"

"Yep, he grew a lot and is the biggest of us now. It doesn't help that he's the angriest of us too."

"I must have really hurt him."

"Well, you're not really to blame."

"Well who is then?"

"Those bloodsuckers. If it wasn't for them none of this would have happened."

"Don't blame them. It was me who chose them above Jacob twice."

"You wouldn't have chosen them if they weren't around though."

"True, but still, it's not their fault they got bitten."

"I suppose you're right about that, but it doesn't make me like those bloodsuckers any more than I do now."

"I don't exactly see why you hate them so much. They've done nothing to hurt you."

"They've hurt humans before." I opened my mouth to protest, but Sam silenced me with a look, "No matter what you say a werewolf and a bloodsucker will never see eye to eye."

It was silence except for the roaring engine of my truck. When he stopped at his house he told me to wait. I sat there waiting as Sam got out and 4 other people stepped into the clearing. Jacob was not among them. In the light I could make out Embry, Paul, Jared, and…Quil. He must have just become a werewolf. Sam talked to them for a minute then motioned for me to come there. I opened the door and stumbled out of the car. The boys laughed.

We talked about things that had happened for a minute. They were all so lighthearted even though their friend was so upset. _Poor Jacob_, he couldn't be out here laughing with his friends because I messed him up so badly. He probably doesn't know how bad I feel about that. I was pushed out of my thoughts by everyone staring at me expectantly.

"Hmm, what?" I asked giving my head a little shake.

"Paul just asked if we were ever going to go inside to talk to Jacob?" Quil said.

"Oh, yes." I said flustered.

"Well we might as well get this over with. It looks like it's going to rain."

I looked up to the sky, sure enough dark clouds were forming. Had we really been standing here that long? Where had the beautiful morning gone?

We walked toward the house, the five of them walking like bodyguards around me. Sam was in the front with Paul and Jared at my sides and Embry and Quil behind me. The group that had been so happy and lighthearted before had taken on a sudden seriousness.

Instead of going forward to the door the group went around the house to the back. There was a large metal shed.

"You keep him in a shed?"

"Only when he's transformed. He's too dangerous to be let out into the forest. He might have done something stupid, like break the treaty or hurt an innocent person. He might have killed you. In fact he probably would have." I shivered; it was creepy talking about Jacob like this. I knew he wasn't bad, but I could have been responsible for someone's death, anyone's death. What if Jacob had gotten loose? He could have hurt Charlie or Edward, or himself. "It's hard not having Jacob's help to track Victoria. She's vicious and could hurt anyone. He had the best nose. Even with Quil's help we haven't gotten far on tracking her." Oh great. On top of the possibility of Jacob getting loose and killing someone, Victoria is still out there. It was her fault that Jacob was in this state of near madness and that there were not six werewolves to find and kill Victoria. "It's also dangerous for all of us to be here. She could kill anyone right now while we're distracted. He's so strong though. We don't want you to die."

"You guy's shouldn't worry about me. I can take care of myself."

Paul snorted. "You just don't get how strong he is. He's monstrous Bella."

"Paul." Sam warned.

"What? She'll see soon enough."

"We usually don't have more than three of us trying to calm him down, but we're not sure how he'll react to you being there."

"Yeah, you being the one who caused all of our problems in the first place!"

"Paul." Sam said strongly.

"It's true. If she wasn't here there'd be no problem with Jacob or Victoria. She's destroying everyone's lives and doesn't even notice. Ever since she came to Forks she caused problems. She should just go back to Phoenix, or wherever the hell she came from." Paul finished into a silence. It stretched unbroken for a minute. Then Sam glared at Paul.

"We're all a little tired from restraining Jacob and searching for Victoria. We are not trying to put any blame on you Bella. You have no control of what's been happening. You didn't mean for any of this to happen, and none of us actually blame you."

I nodded and after what seemed like an age we reached the shed. Sam stepped forward to open the door. Before he could open the locks closing the door there was a bang from inside. It sounded as though someone had run headfirst into a wall or smashed something expensive and heavy. The others tensed ready to spring if needed. Sam busied himself with the many locks. When at last he was done he pushed open the door to the shed.

It was dark and gave me the creeps, but the thing that was most surprising was the amount of damage caused on the metal walls. They were thoroughly beaten. There were great scrape marks against the walls as though huge sharp claws had been scraping against the metal.

_Claws had been,_ I thought. I suddenly had no water in my mouth and had to swallow. It was hard to believe that anyone or anything could make that much damage to a wall, as thick of metal as it is. The walls had to be 10 inches of pure metal at least.

I couldn't see much beyond Sam but I could still see part of a dark shadow near the back of the shed. The others went in before I had a chance to see anything else. They obscured me from view and walked into the shed as one.

All at once they started to talk to Jacob in low voices so that I couldn't here. It seemed to take an age but at last they stopped and Embry and Paul left. I felt nervous that two of my guard had dispersed, but they wouldn't have if it wasn't safe for me.

Sam beckoned me forward. As I stepped towards him he moved aside revealing the pure vastness of Jacob. He _was_ huge. He was almost all muscle. He was big enough to fill up almost half of the entire shed.

"Bella." He breathed. It was cold and hard. It reverberated around the room and sent chills down my spine. It was a heartless voice.

"Jacob?" I asked. He looked at me scornfully as if to say who else. "I'm really sorry." He was silent. I couldn't make eye contact with him. It was hard not to turn away. I started again, and then faltered. It was hard to find words to express the guilt I felt. "I really am sorry. I didn't want you to feel so horrible."

There was a stony silence and then he spoke, "It doesn't matter if you didn't want me to feel bad, because I do and it's all your fault."

I was shocked by the coldness of his words, "You don't understand, I didn't have a choice. I was…"

"No choice, NO CHOICE? You chose him over me," I looked up into his eyes at this moment, it was horrible. It showed pain that was indescribable. "You chose your stinking, filthy bloodsucker over me. You…I don't want to talk to you."

"But **I** need to talk to you. I can't leave Edward, but I can't leave you either. You have to understand Jacob. I can't live without you. You're my best friend."

"A best friend is not what I want to be! I want to be more than that."

"I can't give you anything more." I started to cry, I was angry that Jacob couldn't just be a friend, he had to be more.

"Oh but you can give that bloodsucker more."

"I love him. Can't you just accept that?"

He turned away, "Can't you just accept that you can never have more than one of us."

"I need you both."

"You can't have both. It's either him or me."

"I can't stand ultimatums."

"They come around every once in a while. Deal with it."

"I can't just stand here and know that I might never see you again."

"Then why did you come here?" I was silent, I wanted to see him again it was true, but there were more reasons. Jacob turned toward me again, "Why?"

"Because I didn't want you to feel that way anymore. I didn't want you to be hurt. I wanted to apologize for making you my crutch when Edward left. If I hadn't have done that you would never have fallen in love with me and I never would have needed you."

"Why do you always do this Bella? Why do you always make everything out to be your fault? If anyone's to blame it's the bloodsucker. And I don't think I could ever have lived my life without you. I don't know how I managed before." He seemed to sag. He no longer looked angry, he just looked extremely depressed.

"I'm sorry Jacob."

"Bella," It was not Jacob who spoke, but Sam, "We should probably leave."

"Okay." I whispered, "Bye Jacob." He didn't turn, didn't even move. He just sat there looking defeated.

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**Author's Note**: Please review and tell me if I need a Beta. Or review and talk about the story, either one works.


	4. Thinking

**Author's Note**: This is by far the shortest chapter. I'm sorry. This one sucks. You could probably just skip it and move on. It's not important in the slightest. I just needed to fill up space and time in Forks.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twighlight... yadayadayada... ect. ect. ect... yeperdoodle and a donut.

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**THINKING**

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I was subdued as Sam led me back to my car. I told him thanks and left. In my car I started thinking things over.

What was going to happen now? Jacob had been angry but now he was upset. I had done all of this to him. He should just let me go. I couldn't help remembering how I felt the time Edward had left me. I felt as though I had a hole that could not be filled. Jacob couldn't feel that way about me, could he? I wasn't gone, I was just trying to be a friend, only a friend. It wasn't as though I had disappeared off the face of the Earth. I was still there for Jacob to see and speak to. I wasn't gone.

Edward had been gone though. I thought he was never coming back. I used Jacob to help lift me back up to where I was. I hurt him badly when I chose vampires over him twice. I shouldn't have hurt him like that.

How could I ever have thought Jacob would be okay if I talked to him? It was stupid. Maybe if he could find someone to fill my place, someone else he could love, he wouldn't love me so much.

Jacob was so big and muscular like Paul said. He was charming and kind. He also has a beautiful smile. Jacob could probably get any girl he wanted if he just looked.

But then, would everything have been almost the same. Would the new girl love him while he looked at her as only a friend? Would it all have been so similar to how it was now?

I hope that if he does find someone else he can love her and she him. Perhaps Jacob should go somewhere new. Go somewhere where he knows no one. Maybe there he could find his true love. I can't be the only person he can love.

It was not a question of if I could live without Jacob. I had been for the past weeks. It was a question of if Jacob could live without me. I am sure he can, it just seems as though he won't show it.

I had lived without Edward for months when he left. I coped with it. Even before I started hanging out with Jacob I was coping with it.

Why was everything turning out like this? Jacob loves me and I can't return his affection. I love Edward to much to let him go. Edward loves me back. It's all like one Romeo and Juliet story, except for the fact that Romeo is a vampire and Paris is a werewolf. I wonder if Paris went into a depression after Juliet turned him down. I wonder if Juliet actually got to know Paris.

It is stupid comparing my life to one of Shakespeare's masterpieces. It could never be the same, for life is always so much more complex then that. Shakespeare had other plays, but no one ever remembers them. No one remembers because as much as comedy changes, drama stays the same forever. Everyone remembers the depressing story of Romeo and Juliet because of the love, life, and in the end Death.

At that moment I saw a glint of something red streak through the trees. It was so fast I must have imagined it.

I should just concentrate on the road. And get home.

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**Author's Note:** Life goes on. Please review. 


	5. Proposal

**Author's Note:** Sorry this one took so long to make, I was extremely busy. And since no one reads the author notes anyway I'm gonna be random! "Moosen! I saw a flock of MOOSEN! There were many of 'em. Many much moosen. Out in the woods…in the wood-es…in the woodsen. The meese want the food in the woodesen…food is the eatenesen…the meese want the food in the woodesenes…food in the woodesenes." "Brian. Brian! You're an imbecile." "Imbecilen!" "What? Are you speaking German, Brian?" "German…Germaine…Germaine…Jackson…Jackson 5…Tito!" "Brian, what the hell are you talking about?" "I don't know. I don't know, really." Thank You Brian Regan!

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns the characters and such. If you didn't know that you're an imbicilen. Read above. Review. PLEASE. I also don't own the manuscript in the Author Note brian Regan Does.

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**PROPOSAL**

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Finally I was home. After what seemed forever I would be back in my place of comfort. 

"BELLA!!!!" Charlie yelled.

_Crap_, I thought, _I forgot all about Charlie._

"Do you have any idea how angry I am. You were supposed to be in bed. You walked out in the middle of the night and return after noon. You could have fallen asleep while driving. You could have crashed your truck. You could have killed yourself." Only after Charlie was done ranting at me did I realize how tired I was.

"Dad I'm fine, just really tired. Thank god it's the weekend I can sleep in." Charlie started grumbling words under his breath at that point, things like _late night, bad influence, car crash._

I headed strait upstairs not even bothering to change. I laid down on my pillow and everything became hazy at once. In my dream I was driving toward something. It was big and russet colored. I could only tell that it was a wolf when I got close. It was monstrous. It was at least twice as tall as my truck. It's eyes were full of pain, and it looked defeated.

Suddenly an orange blur caught my eye. I turned to see a beautiful vampire walk out of the trees.

It was Victoria. She turned to stare at me with her horrible red eyes. She smiled an evil smile and narrowed her eyes. Then she snarled and ran at the giant wolf. I screamed, but it was too late, Victoria was already massacring Jacob in front of my eyes. Blood was everywhere, and I opened my eyes.

I nearly screamed out loud at that point. I was in my room again but Edward's nose was almost touching mine and he was gripping my shoulders.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

"Yep, I'm fine, just a nightmare." He straitened up listening. I sat up and leaned against his chest.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"I told you. I'm fine."

"Ok just making sure, you were breathing extremely fast and your heart was going berserk."

Edward lay back on the pillows but almost instantly sat up again. "What is it?" I asked.

"Werewolf, Jacob."

"Jacob?"

"Yes, I'm sure. He's not under very good control right now though. He's contemplating whether or not to talk to you."

"What does he want?"

"I can't tell, whatever it is he's not thinking about it right now."

"Oh. Well go on."

"What do you mean?"

"Leave. I don't want you and Jake to get into a fight Edward, but I still want to talk to him." Edward opened his eyes looking extremely hurt. Fortunately I knew Edward was just faking. "I told you leave." I pointed toward the open window. Hesitantly he got off the bed and as quick as a flash he was gone.I walked out of my room, down the steps to the front door. I opened it right as Jacob was about to knock.

"Oh, Hello Bella."

"Hi Jacob."

I was surprised to see that Jacob was holding flowers, something Edward forgot to mention. "Um, these are for you." I took the flowers and beckoned for him to come in. He followed me into the kitchen where I was rambling around looking for a vase.

"Edward said you wanted to talk to me."

"And did he tell you why?"

"No he couldn't tell." For some reason at these words his eyes lit up at these words. I finally found the vase.

"So why did you want to talk to me?" I asked filling the vase with water, "And what is with the flowers?"

He smiled, "I though that, well since last time I brought you your bike, this time I'd bring you flowers." I laughed.

"So why are you really here?"

"I wanted to take you to dinner." I turned my head toward the clock it was just after 7. Had I slept that long?

"Ok, lets go." I wasn't going to miss an opportunity to talk to Jacob. For all I knew it would be my last time I talked to him.

Jake walked out of the kitchen first. In the driveway was his Rabbit. He opened the door for me on the passenger side. We drove in silence. I wasn't paying attention to where we were going, but then as I glanced out the window I realized we were in La Push. We had driven into a small little restaurant parking lot. I got out and Jake walked me to the door.

The lady at the door gave us seats and menus.

"So," I started, "what did you want to talk to me about?"

His smile faltered and he looked flustered and sheepish, "I…well…wanted to talk to you."

"Yeah we've already covered that Jake."

He smiled apologetically, "I also…ah…wanted to ask you if…maybe if…you would…ah…"

"If I would what?" I came around the table to stare at him. And then I knew what it was he wanted. In the second it took me to come around the table he was on his knees.

"If you would marry me." I was stunned speechless. _Oh this was just great_, I thought, _now I have a choice between marrying a vampire or a werewolf._

"Um Jake, I think I'm too young for marriage right now. You seem too a little young too."

"I don't mind waiting. Just tell me when you decide." When the server came back I didn't look at what I ordered and ate in silence. I wasn't paying attention to anything until I realized we were back at my house.

"Well thanks for the meal Jake." I called over my shoulder as I walked inside. I climbed the stairs once more and went into my bedroom. This time I took a shower before I went to bed. I was half asleep when Edward snuck in, and I only stayed awake long enough to feel his cold arms around me and hear his voice singing softly in my ear. The last thing I heard was my lullaby.

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**Author's Note:** Read, Review, Relive. Please. I don't know what you'd want to Relive, or even why I put it up there. But who cares? No one Reads author notes anyway. And now more Brian Regan!: I think the worst day was the day the science project was due. Waking up that morning…that was fun, huh? Your head would pop off that pillow, "Oh, no! That's due today." I had nine months to work on it; I did nothing. I have a cardboard box of boxen. And you'd show up; you're scared because you don't have anything good and you find out all the other kids their parents made theirs for 'em. I hated that, yanno? They're backing them in on flatbed trucks. One kid with a volcano…he didn't know how to zip up his own pants but he built a volcano. "How'd you swing that?" I didn't know what to do for my project so I brought in a paper cup filled with dirt just hoping that she'd know I'm an idiot and just walk right on past me just as long as I was holding something. 


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